Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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