You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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