May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
