I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
