We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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