bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
