i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
