Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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