oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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