Fuck appropriateness.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
