If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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