Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
