No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
