My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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