This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
