jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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