her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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