where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
