Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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