im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
