you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
