I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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