pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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