If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
