Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
