If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
