you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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