Your mouth is God's brothel.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
