I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
