living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
