I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
