i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
