The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Couch. On fire.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
