Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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