Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
