I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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