wake up i wanna do it froggy style
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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