honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
