just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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