She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
