I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize