she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
