____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
and you fell through a lawn chair
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