Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
