I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wish there were birth control emojis
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
