You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
