Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
