I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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