And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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