super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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