I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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