Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
