so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
