i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
