Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
