ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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