We're like a lot better than the average bears
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
