Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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