it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize