i already hear my dad disowning me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize