I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
