she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
