all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Your cock deserves a montage
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
