A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize