I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
