Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
