Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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