You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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