I queefed so loud it echoed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
