please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All the doctor said was why
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
